How Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Should Have Ended


Why did you say that name? It’s his mother’s name! Wait, your mom’s name is Martha? Yes. That’s so wild, my mom’s name is Martha. Oh, no way! What are the odds? Who knows. Well this changes everything. You wanna like hang out? Go get some coffee? Well that was a really sudden change in attitude. But yea sure. I actually don’t have a lot of friends. Sweet, I know just the place. Sooo… what’s up? We should probably go save my mother now… Oh yea! I totally forgot. We’ll come back later. You need to get everyone out of the building now! OH, you THINK?!? Yes! You think that’s a good idea, Mr. Wayne? Yes, that’s why I’m calling. I mean, I was gonna stay here and work but since you’ve given us the go ahead, I’ll start to respect the fact that aliens are attacking the city and it might now be safe up here. Holy cow, what is your deal? Pl- please don’t… Please stop that. Cherry? Please stop… stop. Please, please stop. So can I have all those things I asked for? Uh no, I don’t have that kind of clearance. I’m just a senator. Excuse me, you’ve stolen something that doesn’t belong to you. Who are you? Are you saying you want to know my secret identity? Hehe- I’M Batman! -Clears throat- I mean, (cough) maybe… Tell me… do you have insurance? You better. Well technically, you hit me. Also, I just saw you murder a bunch of people so… I’m kind of gonna have to take you in. Oh, well then… Like a good butler, Alfred is there. I’ve got you master Wayne. What?!? Only by working together, can we… (gasp) Dang it! This man has a bomb in his chair. Ahhh! Save the day! Super tickles!!! Coochy coochy coo! No, no! Coochy, coochy! Ha, hahahah, Hahaha! This is a nightmare! Ahhh!!! Oh my gosh! Bruce!!! Listen to me!! Rotten tomatoes! Rotten tomatoes, everywhere!!! What the heck is happening right now?! When you got here you had but an hour Now it’s less… Oh snap, an hour? I better hurry then! Holy crap! Is this my mother, Lex? What? Yes. I mean I flew around the city a few times and used my x-ray vision… but I gotta make sure, is this the mother of mine that you threatened to murder in front of my face? Yes, I said that’s the one. Ok? You win. You diseased maniac. Well, here I am. Bruce, you have to listen to me. Lex Luthor is behind every— ugh ugh Kryptonite bullets. I win. More kryptonite? Dodge. What the?! How? Because I’m faster than a speeding bullet… I win! Oh shi— Sir, he’s taking the creature into space. You mean he’s saving us? It looks that way, sir. Nuke him anyway? No!! Are you crazy? Just let him take it to space. Anndddddd, into the sun! Oh my gosh! Looking for these?? Are you here to help fight the monster? Nope, not this time. Good luck with your cave troll. I love you. No. This is my world. No Clark, you can’t. You are my world. It’s so cliche. Don’t fight the monster. I know what I have to- Alright chumps, let’s do this. Becauuuuuuuuuuse IIIIIIIIII’mmmmmm Batmannnnnn!!!!! So, how does this work? You talk first? I talk first? You stole my victory, Bruce! Nah, that thing would have stabbed you and we’d have to like go to your funeral and stuff… I wouldn’t have died. I would have just been gone for a while. Yea, but you’d probably have to come back evil or something… Make us fight you all over again. So I just went ahead and killed Doomsday. All I know is that was exhausting. Yea.. Like we covered so much ground you’d almost have to go through it multiple times to feel like it made any sense. Right?! Not for me, I pretty much just checked my email and then fought a monster. What were you guys doing the whole time? We were sort of fighting- each other… Fighting is a loose term… I was feeling about saving people for some reason and this guy went down a serious dark path. I may have killed a bunch of guys… No! And bulldozed them with my bat-mobile. That is dark. Yea, but I feel bad about it now. So, that makes it ok. That doesn’t seem right, but whatever. So, what were you two fighting about? It’s so complicated. He thought I was going to kill humans. So he decided to kill me first rather than just talk to me about it. You were going to kill Superman?!? He was gonna try. I sort of let him win. Oh, I beg to differ. I seem to remember you lying on the ground crying out for your mother. And what was her name again? Martha (sniff) Martha. Ahem. I’m sorry, I need a minute. (sobbing) I am so confused. Our moms have the same name. He’s really sensitive about it. Why did you say that name? Your mom isn’t the only Martha in the world, dude. Your mom’s name is like my mom’s name. What does it all mean?!? Ok, I’m good now. Well, this is certainly not what I imagined hanging out with you two would be like. It’s normally not like this. Yea, we’re supposed to be the cool kids. What happened to us?! Uh, he killed people and you forgot to smile. Oh my gosh… the Amazon Goddess is right. Of course I am. I like you, Wonder Woman. Wanna help us form a team? Like the Avengers? No! This is totally different. Why would you think that? I’m saying like a league that serves out… justice. Yea! And then we can be like, “You just got served… some justice!” Ok, maybe this was a bad idea. I vote reboots. Don’t you dare, I just got here! I wanna join, can I be in the league? Yea, me too! Can I join too? Yea, the more the merrier! And me too?! Uhhhhh…… Heh, I’m just kidding! I’m not doing that anymore. Hey, great job murdering people Batman! Killing your enemies is wrong. Oh man… It’s gonna be a while before I live this down, huh? Mmmhmm! Because you’re Batman. What’d I tell you about my catch phrase? Oh! Does that make you mad? Are those fighting words? Don’t you start with me! Wouldn’t want to have to break out the kryptonite. You mean, say Martha?! Ughhh!!!! Why do you keep saying that name? Hahaha it’s just too easy now. Ughhh. I wish Doomsday did kill you. The bell cannot be unrung. He has found us. And he is coming. Ding, ding, ding, ding! Ding, ding ding ding! What does the Lex say?!

Paul Whisler

100 Comments

  1. I want that dub back. Why did you get rid of it. It was so good. Bring it back now

  2. "Like the Avengers?"… "No! this is totally different. Why would you think that?" hahahahahahahahaha

  3. 0:05 Why did you say that name?! 👿😠😡
    6:23 Why did you say that name?! 👿😠😡

  4. Aaaaaaaaahhhhh god blessss u…. wat does the lex say! 😂😂😂… perfect ending

  5. I thought the 1st half of BvS was awesome. Once it hit the "MARTHA" part, Selina had to tie her whip around my arm to stop me from leaving.

  6. It would have been easier to kill Doomsday if Diana held him down and Supes three the lead covered Kryptonite bullet into Doomsday’s face and then have Bruce drive the spear into his heart and then everyone survives 👍👍 and then they can go to the Winchester and wait for all of this to blow over.

  7. What happened to that clip with the fake mouths??? I loved that to freaking death!!

  8. They did not stop fighting because there mom’s had the same name they stopped fighting because Lois said he has a human mother Bruce knew Superman was trying to save his mother this humanized Superman to Bruce

  9. 3:04–3:07 Pretty sure it probably would have taken Superman even less time than this to find his mother and kill the entire 3rd act of this movie. XD

  10. How it should have ended!?
    How it should have started is a better theory.

  11. BECAAAAAUUUSE IIIIIIM pulls kryptonite gas launcher and shoots him in the face BATMAAAAAAAN stabs with kryptonite spear haha I win

  12. It would be more epic when superman used his heath vision to explode the head of batman without even letting him use the kryptonite

  13. Superman: what was your mother’s name?
    Batman: Martha… waaaah why did you Say that name?
    How this is portrayed is hilarious and sad at the same time. Batman went from someone to fear to someone who needs a hug.

  14. October 2019, and still the best spoof on the internet!!!

    Seriously laughed just as much as the first day I watched it!

  15. I was wondering why Batman didn't try using the Kryptonite stick. At least Superman wouldn't have to be brought back and justice league would probably have been better. Also who agrees that Jesse Eisenberg wasn't the best pick for Lex Luthor. I don't hate the actor but jeez it didn't feel like Lex plus the scheme was long and drawn out

  16. Green Lantern: Can I join?
    Everyone in cafe: ……..
    changes into Deadpool : Oh right I don't do that anymore. Batman Killing people is wrong
    Me: Says the guy who kills for the fun of it. Oh Deadpool

  17. I've said it a billion times before, but I think I need to say it again:

    These reviews and parodies are still way better than the movie

  18. 4:47 The most iconic scene is any HISHE or even in any YouTube video. It is the most iconic scene on the internet. In The HISTORY!!!!

  19. Batman and Superman drinking coffee at the caffe bar in their costumes.

    Wondering where do they keep their wallets?

  20. Batman is a hero because he killed doomesday🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  21. 1:18 best part I think
    "Are you saying you want to know my secret identity?"
    "He he I'm Batman"

  22. I like how Batman and Superman's appearance change when they get to the cafe.

  23. 1:56
    Average human eye can see up to 1,000fps
    Flash’s speed in justice league and BwS is Mach 5.6 or 1920m/s
    Superman kept up with Flash’s speed
    So for Superman’s perception to be confused by Alfred’s “Instantaneous” speed , Alfred must have been travelling super fast with in a frame of a 1000fps
    So roughly 20mil+ mps

    I have too much time on my hand

  24. 4:53 THE MONSTERS FACE GOT ME 😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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